Update!!!!!

My son turn ONE YEAR OLD on August 22nd!! Now he's 13 months! It's ridiculous how fast he has grown. He's doing everything from crawling, to walking, to running (now), and eating ONLY table foods!! I really can't get over the young boy he has become! I love him more and more every single day. On another note, me and my fiance will be together for 4 years on the 21st of Nov. So crazy.


There are a few dates/months that have bothered me & that will continue to bother me for probably for forever.

June 30, 2013:The day Marc had left for basic at Ft. Jackson, SC. It was filled with tears but happiness because at that time I knew it was just the beginning of our new life together.

September 11 & 12, 2013: Family Day & Graduation of 2/39th INF at Ft. Jackson, only little did we know that he wasn't going to be graduating with his unit, and not going to AIT at Ft. Lee, but will be sent to what they call "Fat Camp." But little did we know at that time that he was in fact going to be discharged.

September 27, 2013: The day Marc came home, and was officially discharged from the US Army. I was happy to have him home, but at the same time I was disappointed & upset.

December 2013: Would have been the month we would've gotten married. When he had left for basic, we hadn't picked out an official date, just knew that it would be when he came home for Christmas.

June 30, 2014: It was a year ago that he left for basic.

September 11 & 12, 2014: He would've been in for a full year! Would've graduated basic and went on to AIT.

September 27, 2014: It has been a full year since he came home. I am still living at my parents, and he has gone from family member to family member. And is currently living with one of his sisters. 

December 2014 (I know we aren't there yet): We would've been married for a full year.


Now I love my fiance very very much. But these dates, UGH! I do not love these dates! Now if our lives were the way they were supposed to be then yeah I would love them. Everyone keeps telling me that "everything happens for a reason" blah blah blah. Okay yes, I understand that. But seriously just shut up! & I keep being told to just let it go, I'm sorry but, I just CANNOT let something like this go! This was a huge thing for me! Many people probably think I'm crazy, but I WANTED that military relationship, to be apart that 1% of the US's citizens to join the military's family. I not only wanted it for our family, but it just would've been so cool because not only was my dad in the Army, my grandma Nelson (my dad's dad) was in the Army. They both had their families live the Army way, even if it was only for 4 years. At least that was how it was with my dad, not sure about my grandpa Nelson. 

I just want what is not only best for me, but what is MAJORLY best for my son. It still kills me every day because I know we aren't where we are supposed to be. And will we ever be where we are supposed to be....maybe? I don't really know. I just wish there was a way it could be that way. Is it really too much to ask to want to have MY life the way it was meant to be. I think not.

I don't really want to make up a title for this...

It's 01:05 a.m. and I have just been thinking all night, haven't slept yet since this morning. I am thinking about everything I possibly can. Thinking of my little boy, my fiance, my life. Sometimes I wish it could be different. Let me go back to the beginning of my senior year in high school.

It's maybe a month or so into my senior year, bowling is going good, we hope to get enough girls to be able to compete in districts in the beginning of November and be about to go to states a week later. As it gets closer and closer to districts we have had girls come and go, which means no districts and states for us, well at least with districts we can participate in the morning round. It was so much fun competing at districts for the last time. Me and Marc have been talking, okay well really him. He was thinking we should break up because he doesn't know where we will be at the end of our senior year. He knows I want to get my AA at DSC and transfer to UCF and get my BA in Criminal Justice and work with FWC(Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission). He just feels that we will go our own ways.

I was able to tell him that no matter what we will always be together. Then a few weeks later we get the news that I am pregnant, although just a few days earlier we went to the fair and I went on rides not really knowing whether I was or not, thankfully I didn't suffer from a miscarriage.

We have been together for 3 1/2 years, and we have a beautiful baby boy who will be 9 months tomorrow (22nd).

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE both of my boys to death. I wouldn't change my life for anything. Although during my thinking, sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if me and Marc did break up and we went our own ways, would we find our way back to each other? Would we fall in love with different people? If we ever got back together, would we still be the same? Or would we change? Would I get my degree in Criminal Justice and work for FWC? Or would I have gotten my degree then decided Military? Army? Navy? Marines? Air Force? I just can't help but wonder what my life would be like if we met but broke up like all my past relationships. Would I still be sitting here in my room listening to We the Kings, wearing an engagement ring on my finger, while a little 9 month old sleeps in his crib right next to my bed? All these questions, that I don't have answers for. Will I ever? Maybe, maybe not. I just can't help it, how would my life have turned out if it didn't end up this way? Would I ever settle down and have a family in the future? Would I ever get married? Would I ever live on my own?

All these questions, with no answers...but you know what, I LOVE my life the way it is. And the people in it.

XO Christine

Update/My baby boy!

It's crazy to think that this little boy right here will be 9 months in a week! There are only 99 more days until his 1st birthday. I've already started planning it, he is having a Winnie the Pooh theme birthday, already started pricing everything. I want to make sure he has the BEST first birthday ever! I don't even want him to turn a year old. Just no. Stay little forever please. :( But then seeing him grow up and learn new things every day are the best ever. I love to see him smile, even when he's grumpy because of teething! With him growing up this quick, makes me want another one. But I can't because I know I can't support another one. Honestly me and my fiance are struggling just to support him. And it sucks, it really does. I am almost done with my degree in Paralegal, I should be done by Summer of '15. Then hopefully get a job as a Paralegal, but I am still thinking of enlisting. I would like to enlist before his second birthday so this way I can be here for is second birthday, but we'll see. I really want to but I'm still not sure. The job I would like to get is 27D which is Paralegal. I just want to make sure that my son will have everything he needs in life and not have to worry.

Update

Well it's been almost a year since my last post, I'm sorry about that. I have been so busy with my son and college. My son was born on August 22, 2013 at 7:50 p.m. weighing at 9 lbs 5 oz and 21" long. My fiance missed his birth because he was at BCT for the Army. His unit was graduating Sept 12th from Ft. Jackson, me and our almost 2 month old at the time went with his family to go see him for Family Day which was held on Sept 11th, well come to find out the day before (Sept 10th) he wasn't going to be graduating, but was still able to spend majority of Family Day with us. We are no longer a Military family, he got Chapter 11 Discharge which is Failure to Adapt, and came home on Sept 27th. We had struggled till February of '14 until he got a job at Publix. He's been there for almost 3 months now, and I had a job at McDonald's for only a month before they let me go, which by all means yes I loved getting my OWN money, but I am so glad to be out of that HELL HOLE they call McDonald's. I got treated like such shit there it was unbelievable. Now I am back to being a stay at home mom with our beautiful baby boy who is now 8 months old! He will be 9 months on May 22nd. When everyone said that time flies by fast, I didn't believe them, but OH MY GOSH now I do! It's so crazy that he will be a year old this coming August, like seriously where has this time gone!

You know, my entire time of being a mom, I had no one to turn to but my own mom. My soon to be MIL hasn't been help, she rarely sees him, but then gets all bitchy and blames it on me that she never gets to see him. Um last time I checked, you have my phone number so you can call me whenever you're off. She expects me to ALWAYS call her, like NO! I'm busy 24/7. So if YOU really want to SEE him, then you can CALL ME. Why should I make the effort to go and see you when you don't make an effort as well. Two way street here. I have NO friends, I have NO friends who are mom's. I feel like I'm doing this alone, with no one to turn to if I need to. Yes I have my fiance, but even then I still have to fight with him EVERY day when we see each other to do anything with our son. He says that he will help more when he's older, like um NO, that is NOT how it works sorry. Not sorry. You are HIS father, I should have to ask you to do something for him, if you hear him crying then go check on him, if he's wet then change him. I shouldn't have to fight with you every single day. Yeah I understand that we don't see each other EVERY day, but when he DO see each other I expect you to help out with YOUR son! I will not do everything all by myself every single day even when we see each other. OH WAIT! I do that anyways. Yes I love you dearly, and everything, but seriously STEP UP. Okay yes I will admit, you have come a long way since you first came home to us, but it shouldn't matter to you how many times I ask you to change his diaper, or feed him, or check on him to see if he's okay, you should do it anyways. Stop complaining about changing his diaper a lot, GET OVER IT! I change his diaper 24/7. I feed him, I change his clothes, I check on him, I DO EVERYTHING ALL BY MYSELF when it's just me and him. GET OVER IT AND JUST DO IT!

Sorry for all the ranting, just had to get this all off my chest. Thanks for reading. Will hopefully keep up with blogs from now on.

XO~ Christine

Sorry I've Been MIA Lately

I am currently at 34 weeks and 4 days. There hasn't really been much changing in my pregnancy, I've had a really good and healthy one so far. I can't wait until I get to hold my son in my arms. :) I start my first full time semester at DSC in the fall, which I am really excited for!!

This past weeks have been rough for me, not about being pregnant. But about my fiance leaving Sunday July 1st for BCT for the Army. :( It's been a rough week without him being here, but I have my family and his family here for me which I am thankful for. He graduates from BCT in Sept! I can't wait for that day to come.

This is my fiance, my soldier, my everything. <3 I have 63 days until he graduates from BCT! I can't wait.

This weekend, baby update & this upcoming week...

Saturday:

I am now 28 weeks just started the 7th month! Just about 2 more months until I get to meet my son. I can't wait. According the What to Expect App & book he is 16" (small cabbage) and weighs 2.9 lbs. I have ll weeks and 6 days until my due date.

Me and my fiance went to a party/celebration for my best friend Tyler Dreiling who God has called to Heaven 3 years ago. It doesn't seem real that he has been gone for 3 years; he would've been looking forward to graduating on  Friday at 4pm. :( I know when I walk across that stage at 7:30pm that same night I will be thinking of him. No one understands just how much I miss this kid. 

Sunday:(Today)

Me and my fiance are just gonna have a relaxing day at my house, probably go in my pool, play video games and maybe take a nap. Other than that I don't have really much of anything planned for today.

Monday:

This starts my first full week of not having to go to Atlantic High School!!!!! :D I'm glad to be fully done with high school (well at least that school). At 5pm me and my fiance are going over to Daytona for my best friend's early graduation party :) 

Tuesday:

I have nothing really planned for the day but I will probably hang with my fiance. :) I do have my Senior awards that night so that will be fun to go to!!

Wednesday:

I have nothing planned at all.

Thursday:

At 12:30 I have graduation rehearsal and it should end around 2:30ish. Then I will probably hang with Marc(my fiance) until we have to go get both of my grandma's from the air port around 9ish at night. I am excited to see them! It sucks that they live in Connecticut. But oh well at least I will get to see them. :)

Friday: 

Nothing really planned for during the day, might see if Marc's mom can drop him off at my house so it will be easier to leave when we have to head over to Daytona for graduation. :) I graduation at 7:30pm. I can't wait!!

Saturday:

My grandma on my mom's side will be heading back to Connecticut :(. Early in the morning Marc will be graduating from high school :) then we will probably go to lunch with his family or go to the beach then we have to be back at my house for around 4 & my family has something planned for me & Marc. I don't know what we are doing which drives me crazy but I do know that we will be eating dinner some place.

Sunday: 

My grandma on my dad's side will be heading back to Connecticut but not till at night & we are probably going to be doing some shopping for Marc the III :) 

Baby Update

I am 27 weeks and 5 days; I can't believe that on Saturday I will be 28 weeks & starting the 7th month! It seems like just yesterday I told my fiance that I was pregnant. The main thing I haven't liked about being pregnant is all the stretch marks! :( They have gotten worse because I keep scratching them :( Anyone have advice on what to do? How to make them stop itching and make them not be so bad? Even though he leaves July 2nd for BCT for the Army, he will still see photos of his son. <3 I love him & our son more than words can describe. I can't wait to meet him!

This is me and my fiance before prom!

This is our son :)

I'm proud to say that I am 18 and a soon to be mom of a baby boy. I don't care what anyone has to say about me being young. I know I will be the best mom I can be for my son. <3 Plus I have a loving and caring family that will help me, and I also have my fiance's family to help too! Thank you God for blessing me with a wonderful guy and a wonderful family and a baby boy. :)

On Friday (May 24th, 2013) I am picking my fiance up from his last day of high school then surprising him by taking him to see Fast and Furious 6. <3