My son turn ONE YEAR OLD on August 22nd!! Now he's 13 months! It's ridiculous how fast he has grown. He's doing everything from crawling, to walking, to running (now), and eating ONLY table foods!! I really can't get over the young boy he has become! I love him more and more every single day. On another note, me and my fiance will be together for 4 years on the 21st of Nov. So crazy.
There are a few dates/months that have bothered me & that will continue to bother me for probably for forever.
June 30, 2013:The day Marc had left for basic at Ft. Jackson, SC. It was filled with tears but happiness because at that time I knew it was just the beginning of our new life together.
September 11 & 12, 2013: Family Day & Graduation of 2/39th INF at Ft. Jackson, only little did we know that he wasn't going to be graduating with his unit, and not going to AIT at Ft. Lee, but will be sent to what they call "Fat Camp." But little did we know at that time that he was in fact going to be discharged.
September 27, 2013: The day Marc came home, and was officially discharged from the US Army. I was happy to have him home, but at the same time I was disappointed & upset.
December 2013: Would have been the month we would've gotten married. When he had left for basic, we hadn't picked out an official date, just knew that it would be when he came home for Christmas.
June 30, 2014: It was a year ago that he left for basic.
September 11 & 12, 2014: He would've been in for a full year! Would've graduated basic and went on to AIT.
September 27, 2014: It has been a full year since he came home. I am still living at my parents, and he has gone from family member to family member. And is currently living with one of his sisters.
December 2014 (I know we aren't there yet): We would've been married for a full year.
Now I love my fiance very very much. But these dates, UGH! I do not love these dates! Now if our lives were the way they were supposed to be then yeah I would love them. Everyone keeps telling me that "everything happens for a reason" blah blah blah. Okay yes, I understand that. But seriously just shut up! & I keep being told to just let it go, I'm sorry but, I just CANNOT let something like this go! This was a huge thing for me! Many people probably think I'm crazy, but I WANTED that military relationship, to be apart that 1% of the US's citizens to join the military's family. I not only wanted it for our family, but it just would've been so cool because not only was my dad in the Army, my grandma Nelson (my dad's dad) was in the Army. They both had their families live the Army way, even if it was only for 4 years. At least that was how it was with my dad, not sure about my grandpa Nelson.
I just want what is not only best for me, but what is MAJORLY best for my son. It still kills me every day because I know we aren't where we are supposed to be. And will we ever be where we are supposed to be....maybe? I don't really know. I just wish there was a way it could be that way. Is it really too much to ask to want to have MY life the way it was meant to be. I think not.
